The Sunset Years

We admire the fleeting beauty of a colorful sunset when we can catch a glimpse of it before the darkness erases it's memory.  Yet, we shun the opportunities to observe the sunset season of the ones that we love, choosing instead to avert our gaze from the harsh realities of the encroaching darkness of opaquely wrinkled skin, frail bones, slowness of movement and inability to control bodily functions.  We'd rather forget the existence of the near to extinguished life than enter into the reality of light dimmed in the necessary details of the everyday minutia.

These once vibrant lives of our loved ones become fading remembrances of yesterday's intimate connections.  Watching a parent decline into oblivion is not for sissies.  It takes a determined effort to choose to walk through the natural phases of denial, anger, sadness and acceptance of the grieving process...the losing...little by little...day by day...memory by sweet memory...of someone so dear until all that remains is the mind-boggling, heart-numbing question of the value of life.

What is the purpose of bearing the heavy weight of stiffening body, long worn, to press onward for the daunting task of performing the mundane simplicities of tedious feedings, difficult maneuvering of waste elimination, successful changing of soiled garments or the more extravagant moments of fresh air on face as the aged, aching, atrophied body rocks rhythmically on the porch to the ticking clock of time.  Every sight a strain on the weary eyes.  Every sound a muffled garble to the dullness of the ear.  Every thought clouded in the merging blur of memories and disconnected "alternate" realities of a life well-lived...or maybe not...

Where is the value in a human life?  Is it only in the bright and vibrant seasons of daylight?  Or is there value in the darkened shadow of the final curtain closing...gently...silently...heavily...even as emotions are spent and bodies fatigued in the quiet recesses of balcony seating?  Is it not at the core of our being to stay engaged until the last flicker of light has been erased from the horizon?  The child within comes forth again in the lingering pauses of dusty remembrances of lost youth...stirring up a semblance of life once breathed with ease and finding it's value in the intimate connections once held close to the heart and now released with the loosened fingers of Father Time.

Tesserae and Living Stones

What is a single life in the grand scheme of things?  Sometimes the sense of being just a pebble among other pebbles can bring an apathetic greeting to the dawn of another day.  The reality of just rolling with each moment in the unpredictable and unplanned events, being tossed around with the crashing realities of oncoming waves that carry us back and forth against the hard places of life can bring a feeling of futility, frustration, and fragility that can promote a sigh of relief at a momentary lull of coming to rest on solid ground.  Our absorption with our own individual experience can fuel a warped perspective of existence.

It is in the rolling and tossing and crashing that we become cleansed, refined, smoothed and polished as tesserae in the mosaic of God's beautiful design for creation.  We are His "living stones", chosen and precious to Him, if indeed we are often rejected by others.  The gathering and casting off of these living stones is all part of His plan in the changing course of our lives. Although we feel the anguish of the emotional effects of this, we are continually being placed purposefully by a Mighty God with a higher perspective of the whole of His conceptualization. 

We are born of God and formed for His glory.  We have no understanding of the perfection of His glory on this side of Heaven and so we must trust Him to continually transform us into His perfect image.  We are part of the whole and as a part we are yet whole...wholly unique...wholly sized...wholly detailed...wholly fitted for our place in the extravagant design of His expression of glory. 

Rise up with the enthusiasm of a child today and take your place on the rolling tides of being and becoming.  Allow yourself to receive a renewed sense of amazement and wonder at the possibilities of "per chance" placement among the pebbles each new day as we are touched and changed with every gathering and casting of His hand.

"And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, 5 you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house..." (1Peter 2:4-5) 

ABUNDANCE

I’ve heard it said that people can be eating from the same banquet table and be seeing different food.  That makes me wonder about “abundance” and how we each see and interpret it in our lives through our own individual lenses or filters of experience.  What do you see in the photo?  Do you see an abundance of withheld treasure of tiny pumpkins?  Maybe you see an abundance of dry, brown, lifeless straw as the backdrop of those withheld treasured objects?  Perhaps you see a child who has wandered away from the thriving, approved path among throngs of people and pumpkin patch activities to a secluded, scarce place behind the scene?  Perspective can alter our outlook on life as well as our ability to receive the goodness that is available to us.  Maintaining clear lenses and observing with childlike faith can impart an understanding that comes from enlightened vision carrying the hope of a high calling, the riches of being a glorious inheritance to our Creator, and a belief that we will be witness to the working of His exceedingly great power on our behalf regardless of what our natural eyes may see all around us.

God is not a God of scarcity, but of abundance!  We have not yet seen, nor heard, nor imagined the good things that He has prepared for us who love Him.  They are revealed to us, not by our natural eyesight or understanding, but through faith in His goodness towards us who believe Him.  It is by His Holy Spirit that we can know the things that have been freely given to us by God.  We can allow the child within to be led by the Spirit of the Living God to come aside with Him and catch glimpses of what He has in store for us behind the scenes of life.

Look again at the picture with a new perspective, clear lenses, and childlike faith.  Do you see an abundance of tiny pumpkin treasures that are awaiting unpacking and staging?  Maybe you see an abundance of carefully bundled and strategically scattered dry, brown straw that will provide the right conditions for prolonging the viability of the pumpkins?  And most importantly, do you see an abundance of beauty, inquisitiveness, life, and raw potential in the precious personhood of Divine Design that has yet to reach maturity?  I choose to lay aside my jaded adult perspective on life and allow the child within to see, hear, imagine and follow Him…believing in His goodness toward me and receiving of His abundance. 

“YOU CROWN THE YEAR WITH YOUR GOODNESS, AND YOUR PATHS DRIP WITH ABUNDANCE.” (Psalm 65:11)  

Childlike Faith?

(I have renamed this blog to reflect more of what I believe it is supposed to represent.)

Childlike faith...we hear it said, but what is it really?  A good question to ask ourselves since Jesus said, that without it we wouldn't enter into the Kingdom Of Heaven. ("I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.  So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child becomes the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 18:3-4 New Living Translation)

To me, childlike faith implies two main things:

1.  The humility of incomplete wholeness (insufficiency of our humanity)

2.  The courage of complete abandonment (fearless dependence on Christ's redemption)

These two things are, at the same time, in direct contrast to one another and also exact representations of one another.  We were created in God's image to live forever with Him.  That image was marred by the sin nature in each one of us and brought death into reality.  He came in full humanity to live a sinless life (with the result being a life resurrected from death) so that we can be who we were created to be apart from sin.  Jesus.  Only One fully God and fully man could do that for us and only He can do that in us by the power of His Holy Spirit.  He died so that we might live forever with God, free from sin.  As we abandon ourselves to His rule and reign in our lives, we allow Him to live through us and death is swallowed up in His victory.

"Know Thyself"

Everything has value, but not everything has the same value.  We can appreciate the "good" things for what they add to our lives according to their relative worth, merit or importance.  Timing often comes into play as far as our ability to receive the value of something or someone and their "goodness" as a benefit to our lives.  Is there value in the "bad" things that come our way as well?  What makes something "good" or "bad"?  Is it in the nature of the thing itself or is it how we interpret its effect on our current state of comfort?  Can we receive the value of something or someone and their "badness" as a benefit to our lives as well?  Perhaps to observe or experience the pain of the "bad" can teach us how to look for and even how to become the "good" in our own or someone else's life?  The pain of touching the flame of fire does not make the fire "bad", but rather, helps to define proper boundaries for the use of its nature for the "good" of warmth, light, fuel, etc.  The same fire that consumes the wood, hay, and stubble also purifies the gold.  In both cases there is a removal of something (cleansing factor) and an added value, whether warmth, fuel, beauty, or currency.  Is the fire "bad" when it consumes and "good" when it purifies?  Could not both the consuming and purifying processes cause pain?  Do not both the consuming and purifying processes yield a benefit to our lives with "good" value on the other side of the process?  Perhaps our assessment of the "goodness" or "badness" of a thing has more to do with our own unique nature, circumstance, and perspective at the time…

My youngest son has a tattoo down the length of his calf that says "KNOW THYSELF" in Greek letters.  I didn't really understand the meaning when he got it several years ago.  I think I "get it" now.  Sometimes the adult way that we look at the "bad" (i.e. painful) things of life in order to make sense of them causes us to go into denial of who we are through pain avoidance by allowing the fire to consume the evidence of such things without receiving the benefit value that they were intended to add to us.  Other times, we choose to leap over the heap of confusion left on the path in front of us, judging it as junk unworthy of our attention and a hindering of our progress when actually taking the time to search through the wreckage for purified "golden nuggets" would add precious value to the person we are becoming and the life ahead of us.  We'd rather build "good" and "bad" memorials along the path than to quiet our judgments long enough to hear the innocent voice of the child within who is the blueprint of a wonderfully made creation with a unique calling and destiny that is only known to the Creator and the child.  The unwarped image of the child within knows that it is precious gold, but we lose ourselves amidst the voices of humanity that have called us straw men.  They don't regard our unique nature or value and so we come to believe their lie in the burned wreckage of life's journey.  We can't change history, but knowing it and knowing ourselves can add value to our present and future experiences as we press on to becoming the fullness of His unique expression in the earth.  We prefer to "stop and smell the roses" along life's journey, avoiding the paths with briar thickets or heaps of rubble. Perhaps the greater value is found in the willingness to forge a new path through the thicket or to look through the wreckage searching for the purified gold nuggets and determining to "KNOW THYSELF" more fully in the process of the journey through the fire, not allowing it to consume us, but to purify us as gold.

"When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched…for I AM the Lord your God, your Savior." (Isaiah 43:2-3 Amplified Bible)

    

Seriously, Who Counts The Grains Of Sand?

For as long as I can remember I have preferred to go barefoot over wearing shoes.  As a young child, I had very flat feet and the doctor prescribed corrective shoes.  They were very expensive and I'm thankful that my parents cared enough to prioritize the cost of "correcting" my arches; however, I didn't appreciate wearing those shoes at all.  Not only were they big and clunky, but my feet dreaded being banished from enjoying the sensations of luscious carpet, firm pavement, tender grass, or wet puddles beneath them.  More than anything else, I loved the soft, warm, and wonderful feeling of sand between my toes.

The conscious awareness of sand underfoot continues to bring delightful appreciation of the goodness of God to me even after all of these years.  Never have I dwelt on the countless individual granules touching my skin, nor have I given much thought to the possible number of grains of sand that cover the earth.  While pondering this today, I couldn't even begin to wrap my brain around such an enormous quantity.

And yet, God is very much aware of the sum of them.  More importantly, He uses that astronomical representation to remind me and us of His constant thoughts toward us.  The Creator of the Universe, of all that has ever existed, considers us precious enough to think about constantly!  Really?  Yes!  Oh, how He loves you and me!

I want to think of Him, not just when I feel the wonder of the soft particles beneath my feet or between my fingers, but always.  I want my thoughts to be turned towards the awesome God who counts every grain of sand as a precious thought of me.  I want to be free of the cumbersome things of life that banish me from enjoying the perception of His constant presence with me, in me, and around me.  I don't desire this in order to count or collect or compare, but to consider His majesty, might, and marvelous works.  I want to know Him and glorify Him forever, yes...but more importantly, I want to enjoy Him as I enjoy the sensations of His creation even against my skin.

"How precious are Your thoughts of me, O God.  They cannot be numbered!  I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!" (Psalm 139:17-18 The MSG Bible)  

Perfectionism, Performance, and Procrastination

Perfectionism is a great procrastinator.  It tells me that I have to have everything figured out before I can start something or else I will fail.  It is one of Robin Hood’s band of thieves, taking the God-breathed inspiration born in the fertile ground of my spirit and giving it over to the impoverished soil of my mind to plant with the false promise of a rich harvest.  While my mind digs through the hard, dry matter of untilled earth, the warmth of my once infused heart ponders the now cold and barren terrain robbed of the gift from the Life-giver Himself.  Oh, what a desperado this perfectionism in the guise of promise.

To the grown-up “Grami” in me it can seem to be wisdom that plans and purposes every act of the program before taking one step out into the light of day.  She co-operates unwittingly with the cloaked bandit who comes to kill Spirit-breathed purpose, who steals away the hours, days, weeks, months, and years with the false hope of well laid plans, and who destroys creative inspiration with rigid constraints of performance.  What has begun in the spirit she relegates to the keeping of the flesh and pines away for a taste of the longed for fruit.

The little “Girl” voice of faith and freedom is often drowned out by the reprimands of the older, wiser one whose fear of failure and experience of shame have long since conspired with the Kingdom marauder who preys along the wandering path.  The younger child within yielding to the world-worn one when really the little child should lead them.  She alone remembers the freshness of His breath on her face, the warmth of His love on her heart, and the joy of His favor undeserved and unearned.  She alone, this little “Girl” deep inside, resides in the living presence of sun (Son) and water (Spirit) that beacons life to blossom from seed even out of the hidden depths of unseen plan, purpose, or program.  The little feet glide easily on the tops of her Daddy’s while never even stubbing a toe as He dances her through the garden field where He has already planned and prepared to perform His good on her behalf and for His glory.  This is the path of joy and this is the path of abundance.  His presence provides the true way and brings to birth the fruitful, promised life from the seeds of Spirit-inspiration.  He alone tends, protects, and nurtures to maturity the true identity of the fruit within which produces without grandiose performance, but rather with abiding, remaining, dwelling in His presence with simplicity of faith in truth of Who He is as I AM and giver of life.  And she, this little girl of faith and freedom, enjoys the first fruits of the harvest promise and they are good!

“Are you so foolish and so senseless and so silly?  Having begun [your new life spiritually] with the [Holy] Spirit, are you now reaching perfection [by dependence] on the flesh?” (Galatians 3:3 Amplified Bible)