We admire the fleeting beauty of a colorful sunset when we can catch a glimpse of it before the darkness erases it's memory. Yet, we shun the opportunities to observe the sunset season of the ones that we love, choosing instead to avert our gaze from the harsh realities of the encroaching darkness of opaquely wrinkled skin, frail bones, slowness of movement and inability to control bodily functions. We'd rather forget the existence of the near to extinguished life than enter into the reality of light dimmed in the necessary details of the everyday minutia.
These once vibrant lives of our loved ones become fading remembrances of yesterday's intimate connections. Watching a parent decline into oblivion is not for sissies. It takes a determined effort to choose to walk through the natural phases of denial, anger, sadness and acceptance of the grieving process...the losing...little by little...day by day...memory by sweet memory...of someone so dear until all that remains is the mind-boggling, heart-numbing question of the value of life.
What is the purpose of bearing the heavy weight of stiffening body, long worn, to press onward for the daunting task of performing the mundane simplicities of tedious feedings, difficult maneuvering of waste elimination, successful changing of soiled garments or the more extravagant moments of fresh air on face as the aged, aching, atrophied body rocks rhythmically on the porch to the ticking clock of time. Every sight a strain on the weary eyes. Every sound a muffled garble to the dullness of the ear. Every thought clouded in the merging blur of memories and disconnected "alternate" realities of a life well-lived...or maybe not...
Where is the value in a human life? Is it only in the bright and vibrant seasons of daylight? Or is there value in the darkened shadow of the final curtain closing...gently...silently...heavily...even as emotions are spent and bodies fatigued in the quiet recesses of balcony seating? Is it not at the core of our being to stay engaged until the last flicker of light has been erased from the horizon? The child within comes forth again in the lingering pauses of dusty remembrances of lost youth...stirring up a semblance of life once breathed with ease and finding it's value in the intimate connections once held close to the heart and now released with the loosened fingers of Father Time.
